You made it! It’s college orientation. Your kid is excited. You’re excited. But, you’re a parent, and you worry.
You take a deep breath and say to the mom next to you.
They’ll figure it out.
Some mistakes they do have to make for themselves. But, they don’t have to make all the mistakes. And you’re still the parent. You can still make all the difference by helping them help themselves.
Look to your left. Look to your right. One of those people won’t graduate.
Sounds ominous. Thank goodness it doesn’t work that way anymore. Right?
Here’s the truth: Look to your left. Look to your right. Neither of those people will graduate.
On average, only 36% of students who start as full-time, full-time freshmen graduate from that college in four years.
The other 68%? Transfer, dropout, or take longer to graduate.*
The common explanations–transferring colleges, lack of academic progress, and major changes–are true for some, but not all. Students suffer from incompetent or uninterested advisors, or course offerings and sequences that have 0 room for error and not enough seats (Oh, hey UCLA).
Or, they get so burned out that they take a semester, a year, or more off. Harvard, for example, only graduates 76% of its original cohort in 4 years.*
*Colleges publish graduation rates that only include students who haven’t missed a semester, dropped out, or transferred. This is a stat created from our upcoming college search app, Real Ranker.
Us middle aged folks see freshman year as a period of adjustment – and we should. Your child has a lot of things to figure out, most at once and many wholly new.
They dip their toes in the water, explore and adjust to that college lifestyle. They get comfortable. It’s what we want. Until we go, “Wait, that’s complacent”
College needs to be a progression.
But, by the end of freshman year, they need to start building a foundation for a career.
Your child doesn’t know what they want to do? No problem. Help them find things to try: shadowing, research, coffee with someone in a field. Staying put is only good strategy if you’re lost in the wilderness. It’s lousy for being lost in life.
Having those conversations can be tough, so build a strategy for big conversations now, before they leave.
At many colleges, introductory-level classes look kind of like high school courses. There are a lot more points available for homework completion, attendance, and other small items.
Superficial similarities are dangerous. So are exam dates and due dates that are weeks away. So is a lack of structure and loving parental reminders.
And, guess what, you can’t talk to their professors. You can’t check their grades. But, you do know your child. Build a strategy for grade check-ins and find ways to help them build systems (time management, organization, …) before they leave.
Mom and Dad run the risk of “They’ll figure it out.”
Your kid runs the risk of “I got it.” Same thing. Different generation.
They may botch the first exam. They miss that deadline. They may not take great notes. It can all be recoverable if they don’t make this last mistake.
They wait to ask for help when only a miracle would save them.
Asking for help early or–ideally–before they even need help still allows students to figure out “I got it,” but they figure it out in a way that leads to A’s more than to D’s.
Help your child build a system where getting help is the routine. It’s the norm. It’s what they do every week. Build it into their college system.
